I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize