I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
