Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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