I want to stick my p in your. b.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
3pm strippers are depressing
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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