Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
