Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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