Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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