I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
