Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
