I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
