I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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