just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
