did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
