Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
