theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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