its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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