her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
