well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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