i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
