fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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