So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sorry about my life...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
