well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
