turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
