so explain again why im purple
no
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
