Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
