Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
