well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
