My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
