How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
