that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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