Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
