Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just gift wrapped bread.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
