I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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