I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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