it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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