They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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