did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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