I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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