You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
