and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
