Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
