Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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