I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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