My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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