Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
