Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
