I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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