Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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