omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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