I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
