I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
