If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I would ride that face into the sunset
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
