omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
