Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think your dad took our porno
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
