I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
