I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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