i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All I want is dick and wine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
