Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
