i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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