apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
