Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
