We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
