Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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