Pappa wants mamma naked
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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