Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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