We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
